I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
