I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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