woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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