soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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