almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
