Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
