she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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