The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
