i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
