In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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