I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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