thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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