I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
