I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
