Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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