I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
