fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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