i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
