did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
