I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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