I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
