i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
