just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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