i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
