I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
ugly people sure do ruin things
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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