tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
