great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize