party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize