so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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