How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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