Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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