How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
