First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
well you can't waste a boner
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
