Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
