I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize