Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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