I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize