**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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