she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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