I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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