I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
