The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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