And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
