how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
They took my balls.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize