shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
