I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
