We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
