More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
