Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
