i just wanna soil my oats bro
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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