i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize