I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
