True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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