If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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