At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
What a dumb baby whore.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
