Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
