Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize