He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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