You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We're too hungover to prance.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
