I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
