This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
