hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just had sex bonerless
Too much gin, very little bucket
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
