i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
