I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
