Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize