Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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