just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize