the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
