The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
